I would also like to express my deep appreciation to the former Prime Minister Mr David Lange for his introduction. Since, I think, my second trip to this country we have known each other. Before that, of course, from a distance I heard about his hard work against nuclear weapons. Because I always try to promote peace, non-violence and with that try to reach out world wide, eventually towards some kind of de-militarization of the world, I always admired your courage, your political will. Sometimes a leader suddenly finds it a little difficult to carry out some decisions. But I think David Lange has political will, so I’ve admired him since then. So on my second visit, we had a personal meeting, now this time, my third visit I am very, very happy to meet him again. Now, I’m getting older and it seems to me your body [referring to David Lange] is getting heavier and heavier.

David Lange: It’s very hard to be nice to some people all the time isn’t it.

His Holiness: But at least we Tibetans believe you see that weight is a sign of virtue. And also you see, it’s a sign of health. [laughter]

David Lange: If you don’t watch out I’ll take my shirt off. [laughter]

His Holiness: So, thank you very much.

So now, it was two weeks ago that I started this trip. This is the last day and I’m leaving tomorrow morning. So that is I think the very nature of time, always moving. No force can control time, or make time remain, or stand still. The important thing however is whether we utilise time properly or not, that is up to us. And time properly used means, not just sort of passing the day, or more holidays or picnics or nightclubs, I don’t mean that way. I mean at least in day-to-day life or day-to-day time, if we use our time, at least if possible, helping each other, sharing in other’s problems. If not, refraining from harming others then it’s a sign of a real sort of meaningful life. If our daily life is spent in that way, then it becomes meaningful. After all I think the maximum life-span, is, generally speaking, 100 years. Our very existence on this planet, amongst humanity is certainly not to create pain for others. So therefore I think the very nature of existence, if we share it with other people, with a big smile and a warm heart and friendship, I think that’s the proper way to fulfil our existence here. If we remain here, irrespective of whether we are educated or uneducated, healthy, wealthy or poor, if you create some discomfort for others, then eventually you will feel some kind of discomfort inside. So, helping others is actually the best way to achieve deeper satisfaction for oneself. So, here I have nothing special to tell you, I have nothing to offer to you, except according to my own experience if we try to live as a more warm-hearted person, that I feel is the real basis for a happy life. Therefore, I want to tell you to think more about inner values, and try to have warm-heartedness.

So, I’m going to explain something about the value of warm-heartedness. Firstly, in our daily life, of course everybody is concerned about their health. Now warm-heartedness makes the body elements more balanced, because warm-heartedness reduces fear and anxiety. So that’s actually helpful for developing self-confidence and a sense of security which is very helpful for creating better balance of the body elements. Then I think everything including the blood circulation and digestion, sleep, everything will go very smoothly. So warm-heartedness is a very helpful way to keep our body healthy.

Sometimes my friends ask me what my secret is. They seem to see a healthy body. I reply saying: Nothing. No secret way, nothing. Perhaps I think my daily routine is generally more calm; more than that, I don’t know. You see my time of getting up and also going to sleep and the time of lunch, these things, usually there is regularity. Yes, more regularity. I think that’s perhaps one factor. Then I think a more important factor seems to lie in my mental state, which, in spite of some difficulties, some tragic sort of events, even my own illness or pain, remains quite calm. For example, in January of this year, when I was in Bihar, one day I think the 14th of January, actually I developed a very painful illness in my stomach. I don’t know the exact word for it but something very painful. But during that moment, some sort of reflection somehow diverted my mind. During this period I was passing through a different area in Bihar. Bihar as you may know is a very poor state, one of the poorest states in India. So on the road I saw many children, some sick – polio patients – and it seems as if nobody was taking care of them. And particularly one old person was just lying down in a small sort of shack, and there seemed to be nobody looking after him. So then I felt really moved. I couldn’t do anything to help these people, there were so many. But constantly the feeling about these people, some compassion, diverted my mind, so as a result my painful experience was much less. So there was something good, some benefit. The illness was still there. It didn’t disappear because of the compassion but at least the feeling of pain was greatly reduced. So that’s my own little experience with some kind of compassionate mind; you get more benefit and then physically as I mentioned earlier even when there’s some pain, with a compassionate mind, it’s helpful in reducing the intensity of the pain and also the mental anxiety that goes with it.

There is a saying for when any sort of tragic information or news comes, “If some unwanted or unhappy news is coming in this ear then let it go out from the other ear.” Try not to let it remain here, (inside your head) then there’s less worry, isn’t there? So I think these are my prayers. I think according to my little experience of my mental state. For example, when some sort of unhappy experience or thought comes like a wave, underneath my main mind remains usually quite calm. I think that’s one factor for quite good health. Still, perhaps you may have noticed or not, in my eyebrows, you can see a few white hairs now. Over the last five years, this is a new thing. So some changes in the body.

David Lange: You don’t have a lot of hair, but what little hair you have is going white.

His Holiness: So I think a calm mind is a very positive factor for good health. That much I can share with you. I think if you ask your doctor or your physician they often tell you to get more rest. But rest means just lay your body down, still mentally if you worry too much this is not true rest. I think genuine rest is mental rest. I think that sort of rest is more important.

So warm-heartedness brings better health. In our daily life as a part of a modern society or as part of human life some problems are always there. When we face the problems if we try to find some answers from outside, I think that’s a mistake. Of course socially, in some minor way you get some help from outside, from here and there. That of course is possible, but the main answer, the main help, comes from within ourselves. Whenever there’s a problem, say a problem with your neighbour, some sort of conflict, if you seek some help from other people, sometimes that conflict may increase. But if you try to keep a certain compassionate attitude towards your neighbour the amount of conflict that has already happened will not increase. Also I think the important thing mentally is that you can keep your peace of mind. Otherwise because of the conflict with your neighbour, if you let a negative feeling grow towards your neighbour, whether that ill feeling harms your neighbour or not it immediately destroys your peace of mind. Then through that you lose your digestion, you lose your sleep and you may need to rely more on tranquilizers or alcohol or some other external means. So through that eventually your health will suffer and also your attitude towards your own family also eventually changes. Your mood becomes very unhappy and you are always worried, always sort of suspicious or having some kind of discomfort. As a result maybe your best friend also eventually hesitates to come to visit you. Therefore, through that way if hatred is within yourself then actually eventually it fulfils the wishes of your neighbour; your neighbour you see, the one you are in conflict with, wants you to have misfortunes. On the other hand, if you remain calm without losing your peace of mind, then according to the circumstances you can if necessary take counter measures. That way I think is the proper way to face the problem, which is created by your neighbour. So without losing your compassion, without losing your peace of mind, you can take some counter measure. Then actually it’s more effective. So, in our daily life, problems are bound to happen and at that time, our mental attitude to the problem is a very important factor.

Another thing, when we face one problem, if we look at that problem closely then it appears very big. But if you look at the same problem from a wider perspective then you feel it is not so big, not so significant, or so unbearable. Then you can easily handle it. For example, the loss of a dear one, a loved one, or the loss of something, or when a very tragic situation happens. If then you just think that the feeling of sadness is increasing then eventually an unbearable sort of feeling comes. At that time you think, “Oh, it’s not only my own case, there are many other people passing through these kind of experiences or tragic sorts of situations but at least in my case there are more people helping me.” Then through thinking that way you feel less mental unhappiness. Then I think frankly speaking, there’s illness, old age, then finally death. If we accept these things as a part of our life then when actual unwanted things happen you feel much easier. If you don’t think about these things and almost consider them as something impossible then when something happens it’s mentally more difficult to deal with. So, since everything is relative we can always find different aspects or perspectives for looking at circumstances.

Now for example in my own case, I lost my own country. I’ve now been a refugee for more than forty-three years. If I look at that aspect then more worry comes, a more sort of uncomfortable feeling comes. But if I look from another angle, I can see how this period of more than four decades, this tragedy, has brought me more opportunities of meeting with people. If I had remained inside Tibet my old age of course would inevitably have come. But then I think the opportunity of meetings like this would have been unlikely to happen. During the last few decades I have had many good opportunities of meeting with people with different experiences, with different knowledge. Also as a Buddhist monk I have had meetings with followers of many different religious traditions and exchanged experiences. There’s been no need for formality, no need for protocol, nothing: in a completely informal way I can exchange. And I think because being a refugee I feel now this person called the Dalai Lama can come closer to reality. When I was in Tibet as a Dalai Lama sometimes it seemed that kind of formality, that kind of position, was a hindrance; now I’ve come closer to reality. So thinking along these lines, then I feel, in one way it is sad but in another way it really brings new opportunities, good opportunities. So thinking along those lines, the lesson is not to worry too much. And also as a Buddhist, of course when we see tragic situations happen we always blame them on our own karma. There also it is helpful to reduce mental unhappiness. These actual situations remain the same but our attitude makes a difference to our own mental worry. So, in our daily life, when we come across some problems then first think from a distance and also try to look from different angles. Then you may find something positive from that event. So I think that’s also one way.

And always one important thing is self-confidence. In order to develop self-confidence we should be honest and truthful, not telling lies, or acting or pretending; not being deceptive and putting on some sort of pretence. For example, if I try to pretend I have something special because I am a holy person, then actually it brings more worry, more discomfort. So stay straightforward, completely informal, that’s what I feel and what I try. Then I get more self-confidence. So I think in order to develop self-confidence one should be sincere, honest, truthful and straightforward. These qualities bring you inner strength. I think with self-confidence, even serious problems can be overcome.

Also I think self confidence brings us more will, more determination. For that, there’s a Tibetan saying: “Nine times failure, nine times effort, continuously.” I think that kind of attitude in our life is important. Especially sometimes with some young people. I see them at the beginning, full of enthusiasm and with a lot of great ideas. First they are committed, then when they face some obstacles all their enthusiasm disappears and becomes great disappointment. So I think the one thing we need is determination, and in order to develop determination before you start any work you think very carefully. Also you ask different opinions from others. Don’t make decisions arrogantly; don’t take decisions impulsively, ask opinions. When I was in Tibet sometimes I discussed serious matters with some of my attendants, including the sweepers. Sometimes they also brought good ideas, good suggestions. So then, once one has finally decided, or the decision is finalized, then one should be firm and determined and proceed through determination. So I think that’s also another factor.

Then another factor is when we start work we should not hold too much hope or too much expectation. You should think: “Oh, some obstacles, some hindrance are bound to happen.” So be mentally prepared. That’s one factor you see in order to keep our determination. So in that way we can manage our life more effectively and our daily life can remain more peaceful. This is what I feel is necessary in order to be a happy person. I think that in human society if one remains honest and truthful some mischievous people may take advantage of you but generally if you show genuine human feelings then people will respond accordingly. Human society, human beings are social animals; our lives very much depend on others. So under those circumstances if we show others genuine human feelings, genuine human affection, then our life will be much happier. This I think is a key thing in order to create a more harmonious, more peaceful, and more compassionate society.

Now there is a concern for humanity everywhere. I think there’s a genuine desire for peace and a genuine concern about the environment. Now one individual alone cannot fulfil what they wish, so the whole of society should work together, should make efforts regarding peace, and regarding protection of the environment. So each individual has the responsibility to make a contribution. Now society naturally contains many different opinions, many different views and conflicts including different religious traditions and racial divisions. Here we need the sense of oneness of humanity. This is particularly important in this present world. The world has now become smaller because of technology, population, and also I think economically through globalisation. So therefore under present conditions I think the concept of “they” and “we” is almost not there: one person’s interest is heavily dependent on another person’s interest. So therefore taking care of others is actually of immense benefit to oneself. For example, the destruction of your neighbour’s country is actually the destruction of yourself. The whole world is part of yourself, that’s the reality.

I think one problem is that reality has changed a great deal but in our mind we still retain old thinking habits, we say “my nation,” “my family,” “me.” That kind of thinking still remains. Reality has changed, so therefore, now under the present circumstances we really need the recognition that all humanity, all countries and our world are just one entity. So, if all humanity becomes happier then we benefit, if the world suffers due to ecology or some other economic problem, or worse, something like warfare, and even worse I think a nuclear holocaust happens, then everybody suffers.

Therefore, now I’m thinking along the lines that the differences on the basis of religious faith or the basis of social background or education or race, these are secondary, they are not important. What is important is that we are the same human beings, mentally, emotionally, physically, we are the same. Therefore, think more about the oneness of humanity. I think through that we can certainly solve many problems. Many problems are essentially our own creation, so if we handle these problems more wisely, in a more humane way, suddenly we can reduce these problems, if not eliminate them completely.

Another important thing is what we learnt in the twentieth century. For example, the acquisition of the atomic bomb, these weapons whose power of destruction is such that to use all these nuclear weapons would destroy the whole world. We have acquired such destructive power. But that didn’t solve all human problems. It created more damage for the ecology, and I think it brought more fear and brought the world more anxiety. But at least I think in the European continent, at least for a few decades, nuclear weapons worked as a deterrent. But that sort of peace is not genuine peace, rather it’s just the absence of conflict or war out of fear. That’s not genuine peace.

So if we look at the twentieth century it became like a century of bloodshed. But now I think people everywhere are getting really bored or fed up with violence. Not only violence between one nation and another, but also violence within the community. Sometimes now we see violence among children; young students, fighting in the classroom. These things are really unfortunate. I think because of this in society, we are lacking something. These tragic things are like symptoms. On some occasions in different places, especially in America, I participated in some seminars or some conferences about the unrest among youth. The participants, of course, are many experts; some sociologists, some social workers, doctors and all sorts of people with different expertise. They unanimously agreed that the one factor of today’s sort of unrest among the youth is a lack of human compassion, a lack of affection in family or in society as a whole. So therefore it is in our own interest to try to create more human affection in society. Not necessarily through prayer or through meditation, but through the analysis of doctors and social workers, because now they also have this opinion.

Now through analysis, through this process we come to develop some kind of conviction that we must create a more compassionate society. And that it is in the interest of everyone, that kind of conviction we need. For example; a specialist, one doctor, he mentioned at one seminar about health, that those people who often use the words “I,” “me,” and “mine,” these people have the biggest risk of heart attack. I think this is because they have too much of a self-centred attitude, their whole perception, their vision becomes very narrow; just me, my world, this is a very small attitude. So then, in that way the small problems appear very big. But when we think about the whole world, when we think of others our perception widens, so then one’s own problems are no longer of any significance. I think that makes a difference. So therefore, thinking from various sources of information about health, about the reality of world history, then eventually we get some kind of conviction.

Now we need more effort concerning warm-heartedness. Almost everywhere there is sufficient attention paid to education, about taking care of the brain, but there is not sufficient or equal sort of attention concerning warm-heartedness. I think in the past – as far as moral ethics or warm-heartedness and these things are concerned – people gave the responsibility for this to the church, to the religious institutions. Now in these modern times religious institutions have less influence in society and also in family life. Sometimes it is difficult, both parents work and the children then can eventually become neglected. So as a result, in the taking care of children and in the school period of life, the attention paid to the importance of warm-heartedness has not been as great. So eventually our brain dominates our whole thinking, so basic human values then become invisible, inactive. I think that’s our experience, what we have learned in the twentieth century. So now anyway the twentieth century has passed; it eventually became like a century of bloodshed.

Now this twenty-first century should be a century of dialogue, a century of peace. In order to develop genuine peace we need some effective method to face conflict: that’s dialogue in the spirit of reconciliation. So while we’re promoting peace we must promote the spirit of dialogue. I have often suggested that in our school curriculum, a dialogue subject or a peaceful resolution of conflict course should be included so that children right from the beginning whenever they see conflict then their automatic reaction is how to solve this through dialogue. Usually when we face some sort of conflict our immediate response is how to solve this through force, and thinking what resources for this do I have – that kind of attitude. Then finally we make our stand, a physical stand, isn’t it? I think that’s the uncivilised or ancient sort of way. Here also I notice discrimination on the basis of sex or gender. I feel that in ancient times a strong body was superior. In the animal world we can see how the big body becomes superior. So our perception, our concept or attitude about male and female I think contains the traces of our ancient thinking: the male body is usually stronger, the female a little weaker. So on that basis we made a kind of discrimination which I think is totally uncivilised.

Now today in modern times the brain has become more important, also a warm heart is more important than physical size. Some relationships are very small, but very big in mind; though very small, the brain is very good and the heart is very warm. Nowadays in these modern times the physical size doesn’t matter so much; the main thing is the brain and a warm heart. Therefore, in the twenty-first century I think children in school, right from the beginning, could learn some kind of instant response through dialogue whenever they see conflict. I think in that we should make an effort, then the whole outlook might eventually change. That I think would be good.

Usually I try to share these points in order to develop a healthier or happier world. The responsibility about the future of the world relies on ourselves and nothing else. Each of us has the potential and moral responsibility to make a contribution. So I consider and recommend that as my own share towards making a contribution, regarding the happy individual, the happy family, and through that way a happy society and a happy humanity.

So that’s my main talk and if you feel some of these points are of some interest then please implement them. Tomorrow I am going back to India but you remain here, so on these points think more, analyse more, then if you feel some conviction or some interest, implement them. Even if you are in a relationship, usually there is often fighting. So from now on smile more and try to listen, try to minimise your anger or your harsh words. That’s one way to implement this. However, some people may find my talk is just empty words, nothing of much substance, then forget it, it’s no problem. I will go whether you implement it or not. There’s not much effect for me, so that’s all. Thank you very much. Now some questions.

Question: What is your response to the fear of terrorism?

His Holiness: About the immediate counter measures or response, I don’t know. Of course the leaders, I think they are led by the American President, have some kind of worldwide initiative or work. Now whether sometimes it’s better, right or wrong to use some force, I don’t know. But I feel as I mentioned earlier some of these tragic things are symptomatic of our past negligence. So this is what I feel. As I mentioned earlier: the promotion of human values world wide in society and the promotion of peaceful resolution is I think the key thing. Also as I mentioned earlier, to maintain an honest, truthful, open mind with respect for others’ interest. Then with that we can have dialogue, we can meet face to face, listen, allow others to complain, and hear their reasons. Resolution through discussion. If we practise more, with dialogue in the spirit of reconciliation, I think many problems can be minimised. In the long run that’s the only way to deal with these threats of terrorism.

Question: How can I best practise compassion in my daily life?

His Holiness: I feel, first, think more and analyse more the benefit of the practice of compassion. Then, think more about how harmful is the way of hatred, of hatred and jealousy. As I explained earlier, from the health viewpoint, about society, about our own peace of mind: first try to get some kind of firm conviction about these things. Compassion is really precious, something really wonderful. If you are a religious believer then various traditions all carry the message of love, compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, self-discipline and contentment. So, this is one of the key important values of a human being. Therefore all different traditions carry the same message. They all emphasize the importance of love and compassion. If you are not a religious believer then as I mentioned earlier, from the viewpoint of health and various factors, eventually you can get conviction that warm-heartedness or compassion is something very important to practice in human life. Then, think or visualise some people or animals which are passing through difficulties or painful experiences. That helps to develop a sense of compassion. Then meet some people who are passing through difficult experiences. Then eventually meditate or think about the potential for suffering, that’s one way. I think that’s a practical way to cultivate the increase of compassion.

Question: How do you feel about returning to India with the threat of war?

His Holiness: India is my home, my second home. The best part of my life has been spent in India, so I have to return in spite of some threat or difficulties. Now the last forty-three years of my life has been spent in India. Firstly, because the Tibetan relationship with India is centuries old it is a very unique and close relationship. I always describe the Tibetan relationship with India as something like the relationship between a teacher and student. In this case we are the students and Indians are our teachers, so it’s a very unique close sort of relationship. Then, when I first came to India, the pandit Nehru was Prime Minister. He personally took special care about Tibetan refugees and especially the education for the younger generations of the Tibetan refugee community. He laid down the basic policy, so then all the successive Prime Ministers and governments now carry the same policy. So we really now feel India is our real home. So I am – in spite of some other sort of difficulties – I’m actually talking here but my mind is already in the plane returning to India. [laughter]

Question: How can we help Tibet?

His Holiness: I believe one aspect of the problem is actually created by the Chinese government policy. That happened because of a lack of awareness about Tibetan culture, about Tibetan history, and more importantly it seems they do not understand well about the real freedom of the Tibetan people. So I’m always telling my friends – one slogan when things should be stated is, “seeking truth from fact.” This is wonderful and wise, but facts should be real facts, genuine facts. Sometimes, firstly there are created some kind of false facts, then you cannot seek truth from those false facts. There are reports from the local cadres who are trying to please their superiors, so often they report falsely. Then policy based on that becomes a disaster. So therefore out of the lack of awareness, or out of ignorance, some unnecessary problems happened.

Now another example: since 1973 I made up my mind, as a result of discussions with our small group that sooner or later we would have to talk with the Chinese government, and through dialogue, only through dialogue, some solution must be found. So the question of independence is not practicable. So the middle-way, the idea or concept of a middle-way was already formed in our mind. And then I think in January or February 1979, my personal emissary had a meeting with Deng Xiao Ping. He stated besides the question of independence anything could be discussed. So since 1973 we already made up our mind. Therefore all our efforts have been within that framework which was laid down by the late Deng Xiao Ping. So, I have been fully committed to the middle way in spite of some criticism from within the Tibetan community and also from some of our friends and supporters. And also in spite of public accusations about me from the Chinese government and the worsening situation in Tibet, my commitment regarding the middle approach has not changed. I am fully committed to it. But the Chinese government always repeated that the Dalai Lama is a “splittist” or separatist, I think either out of fear or out of ignorance.

Therefore among the various levels of Chinese brothers and sisters, some students, some businessmen, some scholars – whenever it is you have the opportunity of meeting or coming across some Chinese brothers and sisters, tell them your feelings and try to discuss these issues with them, educate them. Now because of the current situation more and more Chinese are getting deeper in support of Tibet and accordingly showing genuine sympathy and concern. Over the last few years I have received many communications from some Chinese scholars, some Chinese artists and writers about this. Now it shows clearly, more and more people are showing genuine concern and support borne out of a better awareness. So I feel this is one important thing.

Then, in the meantime I want to tell you, our supporters, despite the lack of response from the Chinese government’s side, we have repeated constantly our concern about the Tibetan ecology, Tibetan culture and human rights and religious freedom, all these things. And basically I’m hopeful because the people from China are in the process of changing. So compared to thirty years ago, today’s China is much changed. China is in the process of changing, so therefore I feel the People’s Republic of China sooner or later has to join, or has to go along with the global trend. The global trend is respect for human rights, respect for the right of self-determination and the rule of law, democracy, openness, freedom of speech, freedom of religious faith and freedom of the press. These are the global trends; now China has to respond to these trends, therefore from a wider perspective I’m optimistic, I’m hopeful.

But if you look locally, then things are really terrible. Of course there’s some superficial change, some progress there. But if you look very deeply then you see there are a lot of problems, a lot of sad things as far as Tibetan culture is concerned. In a few words I usually describe the situation: whether intentionally or unintentionally some kind of cultural genocide is taking place. Then in the environment there is the large scale of deforestation and also indiscriminate mining. So damage to the environment is also becoming very, very serious. And month-by-month the Chinese population is increasing. For example, in Lhasa, now the Tibetans have already become a minority. Their lifestyle has changed, including their language; now they are compelled to speak Chinese. Therefore you see the whole situation is really serious. Sometimes if you look locally then it seems almost hopeless, but if you look from a wider perspective as I mentioned earlier, it’s more hopeful.

Therefore our supporters: please support continuously and support Tibetans, but not in a sort of anti-Chinese way. The soul of this Tibetan issue remains that this is harmful for the Chinese government. I think within the Chinese government the top priority is stability and unity. The present situation is very bad for stability and unity. In order to achieve genuine stability and unity, if the Chinese give us meaningful autonomy then genuine stability and unity will come. So support to finding some meaningful solution is of major benefit, therefore the support of Tibet should not be considered as anti-Chinese. Also do not consider support for Tibet as pro-Tibetan, but rather for justice. Because the Tibetan issue is a just issue.
Thank you.

Copyright Dalai Lama Trust New Zealand 2002 & Zhyisil Chokyi Ghatsal Publications.