I would like to start with some particular notes that I completed in 1980, when I was twenty-seven years old. I am now half a century old! I will not go through all the notes because some sections are very philosophical and complicated but I think you may find other parts useful. First of all I would like to focus on these four lines:

The essence of the Lord Buddha’s teachings is a secret,
When heard through the compounded ears of the stained ones.
Compositions themselves make stains possible,
Therefore the ultimate teaching is the non-dualistic dharmakaya.

The essence of the Lord Buddha’s teaching is a secret to us, but not to him. Having realized his own and everyone else’s ultimate essence, he was able to manifest or reveal the dharma. This essence is something we have but don’t know we have. It is a secret, our secret. By “our secret” I don’t mean something we have done that is so unbecoming we don’t dare mention it to anybody else. I mean something that remains a secret even to us – our real, limitation-free essence. This secret was revealed to the Buddha when he overcame the dualism between how he manifested and what he always was, when he developed stainless wisdom. Then he overcame that dualism too; he stopped seeing himself as “me the Buddha.” We call him Buddha Shakyamuni, but he doesn’t say to himself, “I am the Buddha Shakyamuni.” He did not have to work hard, make notes, and then teach into a microphone in broken English as I do either. He manifested the dharma. This manifestation was the outcome of his stainless, primordial wisdom. It is the secret of the Lord Buddha’s teaching, the Lord Buddha’s speech.
   The second line says, “When heard through the compounded ears of the stained ones.”
   At first the Buddha only had five disciples. Seven weeks after his enlightenment, when he first taught the dharma in Varanasi, there were only five disciples who received his teaching on the Four Noble Truths. These five people bowed down to the Buddha, then sat there on their knees listening to him teach. The Buddha glowed magnificently – there was two meters of light around him that everybody could see – so for these disciples there was no question that he was a Buddha. Even the unfortunate people who did not appreciate the Buddha during his lifetime at least had to acknowledge his presence. Even if they said, “I haven’t seen anything great about you,” they would have to add, “except of course for the two meters of light surrounding you.”
   These first five disciples listened to him speak the Four Noble Truths with the ears of dualism. They were stained ones, just like us. Not entirely like us because they were fortunate enough to hear these words directly from the Buddha, whereas we are trying to understand them 2500 years later, but like us in that we also hear through stained, dualistic ears. We are not equal to these five people, but we are like them. We also retain his teachings in dualistic minds, thinking, “I heard that the Buddha said that.” I am sure these five people talked to each other about the Buddha’s teaching on the Four Noble Truths. I am sure they asked each other, “Did he really say that?” They must have discussed it among themselves before finally coming to a conclusion about it. They heard it through dualistic ears, and they remembered it in a dualistic mind.
   The third line says, “Compositions themselves make stains possible.”
   This sentence says that even the way we hear means compositional stains are possible. All sorts of things are compositions; patterns are compositions, molecules are compositions. Our ears, for example, are composites of many different things, even things that look like snails. Our eyes are balls of water, our hearts are pumping muscles and our brains are very complicated, neatly wired jello. Therefore, it is highly likely that the understanding of these first five disciples was also stained by composition – duche in Tibetan – the composition of subject/object, and that they did not hear exactly what the Buddha manifested. If they had understood exactly, there would have been no need for further teachings after the Four Noble Truths. No need for the other Sutras, the Abhidharma, or the Tantras. This was not the case though: instead as the disciples evolved the Buddha’s teachings manifested according to their capacities. If there were no evolution Buddha would have manifested Tantra first, without all of the other teachings. As things were his teachings manifested in stages, step by step: after the Four Noble Truths, he manifested the second turning of the wheel, the Mahayana, then the third turning of the wheel and Tantra, which can manifest at any time .
   The last line says, “Therefore the ultimate teaching is the non-dualistic dharmakaya.” The ultimate meaning has to be the non-dualistic dharmakaya.
   This is to say that we only hear the ultimate teaching of the Buddha when we become Buddhas ourselves. Until we have completed this transformation we will hear something, practice it and achieve it. Then we will hear something else, practice and realize it, then yet another thing and another realization as we progress. Even if we say a simple prayer like, “May all sentient beings be free from suffering,” it will mean different things to each of us. For you it will mean one thing and for him it will mean something slightly different. Also today’s prayer, “May all sentient beings be free from suffering,” will have a different meaning to next years’ prayer, “May all sentient beings be free from suffering,” because we will have evolved. In five, or ten years from now, it will mean something different again. It will evolve. If we are progressing its meaning will become deeper and more profound. If we are not progressing, if we are going backwards, it will have a shallower, less profound meaning. Eventually though, the ultimate dharma, the ultimate teaching, the ultimate essence of Lord Buddha’s teaching is the dharmakaya itself. This is the meaning of these four sentences.
   I wrote this a long time ago and I cannot say I have evolved very much since then. I was very skeptical and pragmatic then and I still am today, but perhaps a little less so. This last verse may be confusing; I don’t regret I wrote it but it may leave you a little confused. To resolve this confusion let us look at the next verse.

The Lord Buddha’s teaching evolved into two, three, seven, nine
   and so on.
And again from each of these numerous teachings developed,
After a few more millennia,
The teachings will be as abundant as the most profound cloud
   of offerings.

This first line refers to the Buddha’s Theravada and Mahayana teachings, which then became the Theravada, Mahayana and Vajrayana teachings, before expanding further into the Theravada, Mahayana, Kriya, Charya, Yoga and Anuttarayoga teachings. Eventually the Buddha’s teaching expanded into the Theravada, Mahayana, Kriya, Charya, Yoga, Mahayoga, Anuttarayoga and Atiyogas. Then the next sentence says, “And again from each of these numerous teachings developed.”
   This refers to, for example, the Vajrayana Buddhism of Tibet, which has eight main lineages and many sub-lineages. It also refers to the Mahayana itself, which has developed into different entities; the Mahayana of India, the Mahayana of Burma, the Mahayana of Cambodia, of Korea, Japan, China and so on. Then even within these broad groups there are different types of Mahayana. Among others there are the Mahayana that follows the Lotus Sutra, the Mahayana that follows Amitabha and the Mahayana that follows Chenrezig. It is like a big jungle now – many trees with many branches. I know where I belong because I was born into this tradition, but those of you who become followers of the Buddha have a job finding out which tree you belong to. It is quite complicated actually. Is it a maple tree? Or is it a pine tree? A banyan tree? Or a cypress tree? Depending on your final decision you will become part of one of these trees, but you should, of course, respect all trees.
   Then the third line says, “After a few more millennia.”
The Lord Buddha taught dharma a little more than 2500 years ago. Since then so many branches have already grown that in another couple of thousand years, as the last line says, “The teachings will be as abundant as the most profound cloud of offerings.”
   It will become like the great offering visualization we call the kunzang chötrin, the most profound cloud of offerings. In this visualization you generate five offerings from each of your five fingers, and then from each of these offerings you also generate five. This process goes on forever filling the sky with offerings. This line suggests that after a few thousand years the Buddha’s teachings may also become like this. I am not saying this is wrong; this is just how complicated it has become.
   I will skip the next four sentences that continue on from this, but after them I wrote:

Through pure devotion, intention, diligence and faith,
We listen, contemplate, meditate, teach, debate and
   compose properly,
Becoming learned, morally disciplined and compassionate.
Finally, their essential meaning comes down to the same thing.

These four lines try to bring this incomprehensible growth to a conclusion. Based on pure devotion, pure intention, pure diligence and faith, we listen, contemplate, meditate, teach, debate and compose correctly. At the end of this process we realize that all the different branches, all the different ideas that sometimes seemed to contradict each other, have the same meaning. If we sincerely study and debate them, in the end we find they have the same essence but we need lots of faith, patience and diligence to come to this conclusion. If we don’t have these qualities we may get halfway through the process and become stuck, seeing only the differences. We need enough patience to go further until we see the similarity and the sameness – until we see it all comes down to the same essence.
   Now we come to the next four sentences. These sentences describe a process of surrendering. When I wrote these verses my study of Buddhist philosophy and practice of yogas were quite fresh in my mind. I had been practicing and doing retreats quite seriously and had became a bit like a balloon that has been blown up too large – I was about to burst. When you are twenty-something, have learned a lot and to be honest have developed a little bit of an ego this can happen. The more you learn, the more you can see what you don’t know. We can find ourselves thinking, “I am better than so many, I know a lot, but yet I don’t know anything.” This is a little hard for the ego to swallow. I am sure it is happening to those of you who are that age right now. If I had gone on like this I would have been quite stressed, so I had to do some surrendering. That is what was happening when I wrote the next four sentences.

Whether you know the many terms and philosophies of relative
   truth or not,
If you practice the path of your lineage (samaya), which is the root
   of the three vehicles,
With your body, speech and mind,
I have no doubt the primordial wisdom, the essence of everyone,
   will manifest from within.

Whether you know relative terms – the details of endless things – or not, if your lineage is pure and you follow the morals, ethics and methods of that lineage sincerely with your body, speech and mind, the ultimate primordial wisdom – the essence of everyone – will manifest from within. I have no doubt about this. I am sure of it.
   It does not matter whether I know a lot or not. It does not matter how much more there is to know, or whether I don’t know all the things it is difficult for me to admit I don’t know yet. If I am following an unbroken lineage of the Lord Buddha’s teaching with faith and devotion, practicing sincerely in accordance with the morals and ethics of each of the practices, then whatever the ultimate essence is, it will definitely unfold from within. Even if it is very, very hard to explain and very hard to put my finger on it, I have no doubt that it will happen. Whether I know about it or not really doesn’t matter very much. If I wrote a hundred, or two hundred books on the subject, it wouldn’t matter. If I read three hundred books and received teachings on fifty philosophical sacred texts, it wouldn’t matter. If I am practicing any one of them sincerely, the wisdom, the essence of all of these, the thing we are trying to say that cannot be said, will manifest.
   At the end of our teaching here you will know that the ultimate essence cannot be explained. That it is impossible to express because there are no words for it. It is like asking a Buddha, “What does it feel like to be a Buddha?” If the Buddha answered, “I feel this or that way,” they would be expressing dualism, not Buddha. If they experimented by saying, “I feel this way – no, no, not always – in that situation I also felt that way,” they would be just like one of us – not enlightened.
  “Buddha” means to reach beyond dualism. It does not mean Buddha doesn’t have feelings; it means Buddha is above feeling and not feeling, above knowing and not knowing. We have to reach beyond dualism, cross over it, so we are speaking the unspeakable. It is ineffable. It is unspeakable. It is unexplainable. This means I have to talk about it here for six days, four hours a day. How many hours is that? Twenty-four. I will talk for twenty-four hours so you can discover we cannot say anything about it!
   The next verse is about how we human beings think we are so clever because we have language, culture and all kinds of sophisticated things. We think we are really smart, but actually we are more stupid than cockroaches. Cockroaches survive everything. They develop immunity and crawl everywhere. Human beings try their best to exterminate them but cannot. Cockroaches even show up in the best places because they are so good at adapting. We are not as smart as we think. This is the reason I then wrote in my notes:

Relaxed, [Nyom le] newly exposed to the sacred dharma,
   [Sar-bu-wa]
We become confused by the complexities of
The view, meditation, action and fruition of the great central texts.    [Zhung]
[Confounded] I saw our heads turn like the spinning peacock-feather
   umbrellas meant for the noble ones.

Sar-bu-wa means the new, fresh ones, those who have been newly exposed to the dharma. Nyom le means “a little bit lazy.” Zhung means central and refers to the great texts. They are called “central” because there are many commentaries and thoughts derived from them. For those, including me at that time, who are newly exposed to the dharma and a little bit lazy, the great, central texts – their view, meditation, action and fruition – are so holy, sacred, deep and vast we become confused by them and our “heads turn.”
   In this verse I say our “heads turn like the spinning peacock-feather umbrellas meant for the noble ones.” This refers to the peacock-feather umbrellas kings and great masters used in the old days when they traveled. They had people carrying between three and thirteen umbrellas for them; only the highest rank could use thirteen. They had only one head to cover, but needed thirteen umbrellas. The people carrying these umbrellas would turn them clockwise as they went. This is what this verse refers to – it means we get confused and our head spins. In Hindi there is a very good expression for this, “Chaka ah hai,” or “Chaka ah raha hai.” It means, “My head is turning like a wheel.” When I wrote these lines I saw myself doing this.
   The conclusion of this section I actually wrote before I made the other notes; it says:

Therefore the ground, path and fruition, are simplified and made short. I have done this for my own notes, so I don’t forget, and maybe they will also benefit some beginners.

I wanted to share these notes with you so you would know what dharma is and what gaining knowledge of the dharma is. By knowing this you will understand that we are not gaining knowledge of the dharma in order to finish this process, because finishing our dharma studies is impossible. We could learn about the dharma for 10,000 lifetimes, and there would still be more to learn. We could earn 200 PhDs and there would still be more to learn. It is impossible to complete our knowledge of this subject. Impossible. Learning about the dharma is just like learning about anything else. If I wanted to learn about this glass of water, if I wanted to know everything about it, how many lifetimes would it take? I cannot know everything about this glass of water until I know everything about the whole universe – all sentient beings, the entirety of space, everything. Until I know everything I will not know everything about this glass of water.
   Even then it would only be one perspective. I would have only learnt about this glass of water as a human being of planet Earth with a human mind, human eyes, ears and tools my human hands can use. What if I was a dog? I would have a dog’s hands, eyes, ears and the tools any civilized dog would use. That would be another way for me to understand this glass of water. Still, knowing all a dog could know would also take forever. What if I was a spirit? Spirits do not have this body; they have another kind of body and other kinds of eyes. For them to learn about this glass of water would again take forever. And as a god, we would have a god’s eyes, ears, body and perception but it would still take forever to learn about this glass of water.
  The human beings of planet Earth, and the human beings of other universes, are also totally different. Other humans may not have eyes, they may see through sound. They may not eat food like ours. So even the different kinds of human beings are countless; planet Earth’s humans are just one kind. Among us there are also white people, yellow people, black people, brown people, red people – so many different kinds – but these are hair-splitting differences, not real differences. Everybody on Earth has one nose with two holes, one mouth filled with bones and teeth, two eyes, two ears, two sides and hair on top. This is all the same whether you are black, white, red, yellow or whatever, there is not much difference. Human beings of other universes, however, have to be different. Our evolution followed a certain pattern, and if other evolutionary patterns were even slightly different the beings that evolved from them would look totally different.
  They would have a totally different composition, even if their environments were the same as ours. We might be able to see them though, shake their hands, tail or whatever they have, maybe their ears! Perhaps they don’t have hands but very long ears with which they write and do things. Perhaps we could shake their ears. Yet other human beings of yet other universes may have such a totally different environment that we would not even see them and they might not even see us. Still, if their realm is the human realm, they are human. We have animals like dogs, snakes, worms and fish that are all in the animal realm but look totally different. The human realm is similar, it is a realm because of its level, but in different environments humans will evolve differently.
  When I or anyone else knows everything about this glass of water, we are a Buddha. A scientist who wants to know everything about anything, has to become enlightened, otherwise it is impossible. They may discover some truths, write the findings of their research, even in 200 books, but they will still die with an unfinished job. Then others may be their critic or their fan and continue on, writing another 200 books before they die. Then yet another person could do the same thing, until they also died. They may even win a Noble Prize for science, or become very respected, have statues of themselves placed in front of science institutes and their portraits hung in galleries. All of this can happen but, without realization, they would still not know everything. It is impossible. We shouldn’t get discouraged or encouraged by simple facts we have to know.
   I have shared these things I wrote with you because they are very important. They do not come from me: they came from the great wisdom of my masters, which they received from their masters, transmitted to me with compassion and received with devotion. This has been my transmission and blessing. I put them on paper to keep my own notes. In those days I knew a lot, but since then I have been working like a coolie to serve the Buddha and the lineage: teaching, building, traveling the world and doing all kinds of things. For the past ten years I have also been handling things I have had no exposure to or training for. This has also been very interesting.
  I have been working like a coolie to serve the dharma and I am grateful for this, it is a great honor, but during this time I have had very little opportunity to learn new texts. I cannot work and study at the same time. I cannot teach and study at the same time, so my knowledge of Buddhist philosophy and texts has pretty much stayed at the same level. Although, through teaching, talking to people and other events, I have a little more experience.